We may be men but... fuh this, Jason beat me to it.

I guess there's a "talk about how dudes are feminine" vibe in the air. Most of you (there are 8 of you) voted for number four, asking me to talk about my skin and soap and showering and stuff.  Well, Jason beat me to it... I was really hoping that you'd all vote for "yes," and then I could make some clever joke about it. If you had, we wouldn't be in this predicament. But, even though it's certainly your fault, please blame the following mess on me. Anywaysss,

Whether or naught Jason told my idea for a blog "how does it feel to be in the rapesack," I still have a loose obligation to write about something that has to do with showering, dudes, and skinsoaps.

Soap, (see skinsoaps) every dude that knows his ass from a hole in the ground wishes that he was Tyler Durden. We wish that we made soap, we wish we bung Helena Bonham Carter (but not in all of her movies), we wish we didn't have to pay for food, and we wish that we knew our food didn't have good ol' bad human fluids in them. But really, we want to be trailblazers, that's why we wish we were Tyler. There's just something about blazers and taking them on trails that gets dudes all riled up and ready for milk's favorite cookie (Oreo ofc).

If you're looking to bed a sexy man, then just trick him into thinking that doing so will change the way he sees the world and free him from the bonds of societal expectation. If you're trying to bed a man that you don't think is sexy, you have self-esteem issues.

Transition (pretend there is a transition paragraph here).

Some women and some other women call men dogs. Rightfully so, men are similar to dogs in the following ways:

• we breathe very hard out of our noses when we get excited
• we cry when we are hurt 
• we die with honor 
• we bleed when we are cut 
• we love cheese (really, we can't help ourselves) 
• we hump furniture
• we are loyal to a fault (just the one)
• we love eating from bowls
• we love the literary genius of Charles Dickens 
• Magnets, how do they work? (No link? Really? You must be slacking, Mark.)

Those are the only similarities. This list is 100% comprehensive and verified by science. Any other similarities you may see should be viewed as an error in logic and really just a lack of research on your part. Know how we're way different from dogs? Dogs hate showers, like all the time.

But dudes love showers. If you want to know exactly what kind of crazy a guy is? Watch him shower. If you want to rile a dude up like he's just gone trailing with his blazer? Shower with him (see shower with a dude). Want to get a dog scared for his life? Make him take a bath or shower. And your dog could care less if you shower with it, it just wants the eff out of there, by any means necessary. I've seen a dog rob an old lady just to get out of bathing. Maybe the whole dog analogy is a little flawed.

Well, there's my completely disjointed blog entry for this week. However, I did get a 3 out of 3 on talking about dudes, showers, and skinsoaps. So praise me.

As of yet, I don't think anyone has actually left a comment on what I asked them to. So this time just comment on whatever you feel like. The weather's good. Gibberish is fun, roman numerals. No one cares. I care.