Save Da Erf... Wait, Who?

Let's preface this, so that no one gets all confused. Someone will still get confused, but now I can claim it's not my fault, cause here's a preface. Can't argue with a preface.

Preface:

I'm not going to get into talking about climate change, there's too much research to get into there, and then everything just turns into usually pointless political bullshit. I'm not going there. Aaaanyways...

Being a person that loves words, I get anxious or critical when people needlessly misuse the language that I love. The language that is the language of English. Anyone that knows anything about language knows that it's okay to break rules, but people who are good at communicating will tell you that you only break rules if you've got a good reason. 

The term "save the earth" as it is used in so many activist's mouths, facebooks, event invites, and passions is one that has always confused and bothered me. It confuses me because I'm wondering what the earth needs saving from. I'm bothered because the motive behind this slogan is not the one they portrayed, it is a lie.

One who says "save the earth" implies that they think the earth needs saving, and that they, or someone with whom they will be able to contact, can save it. In my fairly normal, perhaps acutely sheltered life, I've never seen a threat to the planet. The planet Earth is a good, smart, nice good planet, and it can take care of itself. If it gets uncomfortable it shakes it out, if it wants an adventure, it goes on an ice age excursion. It's done this for billions of years. A man that I met, his name was Science, told me, "this earth thing has done this shit for something like 4 billion years, probably more." Science was a wise man, I take his word on it. 

So apart from an incoming astronomical catastrophe, or some Earth core explosion, I think the earth is safe without our help... Just saying. That's why I'm confused, there's no need to save the planet.

The real problem I have with "saving the planet" is everyone acts like this is some sort of selfless notion, it's not. What people really mean when they say, "save the planet," is, "try to stop that lots o' people gonna' die maybe." The Earth is fine. It was before we humans showed up, and I'm betting it will be if we leave, whether on a spaceship or otherwise. 

Trying to "save the planet" is purely a self-interested human instinct. We want our species to be preserved, and of course we do. If we aren't around who is going to sit around and come up with awesome stuff like, interwebs, touch screens, string theory, Batman movies, and colostomy bags? Honey badger don't do that stuff, it just takes what it wants. There are plenty of reasons to want humans to stick around, so why don't we just say that?

I don't understand why people might find it more compelling to save Da Erf when there are plenty of people around worth saving. If you really believe that changing the way we live our lives will preserve human life on this planet, or return your damned immortal soul to a haven of loving glory and light, play the shit out of that angle. I, for one, would be much more compelled by a cause that promises that we'll clone dinosaurs, so long as we help each other survive long enough, than a cause that asks me to save something that needn't be saved. 

Stop fronting please, that's all I ask. Your statement let's "save the earth," is a fraud, find a new one. I can think of a few hundred slogans that people could easily get behind, and none of them are confused lies like "save the earth," but you can still accomplish the same thing. You're breaking the rules of English without a real purpose, you're not saying what you mean. That's disingenuous, and not compelling, you can do better than that, I know you can. 

Kthxbai!

Did you read this and think I'm stupid? comment below!

Did you read this and come up with an awesome reason to keep humans around on da erf? comment below even harder plz!

More awesome slogans for the future:

"I want laser guns for my grandkids"

"Let raptor fights replace dog fights... 2312"

"Average people will embraces great art"

"I don't believe in reincarnation, but my clones will party forever!"

Also, for those who voted last week, the winner was number 2 (obv)... Numbers 1 and 4 got votes as well, so I'll move them onto next week's voting list, you can vote for them next week if you loved them. 

Week 1, the week of ones.

** Voting Over **

Just going to get to it. If you read my first post, congrats, you probably know what to do. If not, read it first plz, here. Just vote by commenting on this post, I'll probably work out a more elegant solution later. Feel free to post as anonymous, but try to refrain from voting more than once.

Options below:

#1: I want mine to be the poetry that needs footnotes, words that need defining. I want to write from the past forward. I want students to wish I never lived.

#2: Save the planet by punching holes in the planet.

#3: I've given her my home, and unless I get into those eyes again, I'll never be at rest.

#4:  I never hope to be wise. I would rather watch the wind blow, waters swell. In a world where the carnal is at odds with wisdom, I choose happiness.

#5: She spends her time, watching any story that will have her. She knows everyone, knows how to do everything, she has all the advice you would need, but it only guides you to where she is, lifeless, and longing for an interruption, or an end.

Pick one! Vote! Get happygood!

** Voting Over **

A 'speriment

I'm going to be hopeful here. I need other people's help to make my idea work. I'm going to hopefully assume that everyone who stumbles here will come with me on a journey through time and space. I've got a few ideas of what I'd like to write, but I don't want to write something that will be boring to you, my lovely and hopeful readers. So you're going to be my filter

Here's the deal. I'm going to attempt to have 3 posts per week. Here's the schedule.

Monday- I'll post at least 3 random lines. These lines will represent a theme, and you get to pick which one you like most and vote for it. The line that gets the most votes will turn into an article and a poem or piece of short fiction.

Tuesday- This day is used for voting. I'll not do anything this day. I reserve the right to a lazy Tuesday. This day is for voting, so vote your asses off this day plz? kthxbai

Wednesday- I'll tally the votes and get to writing, don't look for updates Wednesday, and if you're going to vote Wednesday, do it before I wake up plz.

Thursday- Thursday's I'll post a classic style blog, some overzealous ranting blurb about the subject that you picked from Monday's post. You'll feel all crazy kinds of special for knowing that I'm writing about the subject you voted for, or were outvoted by. Don't get sad when you get outvoted, you voted for the wrong thing anyways.

Friday/Saturday- Someone of these two days I'll post either a poem or piece of short fiction related to the week's theme.

That's how I want it to work, if either you or I lose interest, this thing will die fast. So, you know, unless you like death and stuff, stay interested. I promise to stay interested as long as I want to, or as long as you want me to.

There's nothing on Sunday, so I have two lazy days. God only took 1 day off out of 7... but I'm not as cool as he is.

I plan to be blasphemous, and terrible. Also, I'll be funny once. My grammar will not be top notch, and I'll use internet slang. You've been warned, so any complaints about me  being offensive, improper, or stupid will be get bad lazy.

Here's to being optimistic!

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Current week's blog Here
Current week's story/poem Here